I had started this post’s draft before I told Traci, my wife, about it : I had already drawn up the diagrams, and picked my list of neighbors and museum inductees, and wrote out more than 90 percent of the words, simply because I was elaborating on those musicians who meant something to me, personally.
When I told her about it, she said something along the lines of “Well, don’t I get a say in who our neighbors and museum inductees are?”, and I realized how she was correct in wanting a hand in that decision-making process.
I asked her who she’d like to see in the neighborhood and/or museum, she mentioned three names : Elton John and Phil Collins (both of British Pop) and George Strait (American Country).
Having already drawn up the neighborhood chart and museum list, I tried to see where I could squeeze them in, but I had already geographically added “houses that didn’t actually exist” to make room for those on my list that wouldn’t have fit in otherwise.
On top of that, I had a few more additions of my own that I couldn’t squeeze into the neighborhood, either. Among the unintentionally overlooked were the members of Fleetwood Mac : Mick Fleetwood, John McVie, Christie McVie, Lindsey Buckingham, and Stevie Nicks.
Moreover, not being a fan of anything other than single-family dwellings, I certainly wasn’t going to “build any apartment buildings” surrounding the park.
So, unless I “buy” more of the surrounding real estate, there will be no houses for them to move into.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t give their worthy names a mention and put them on the list of musicians who otherwise qualify for residence, but for whom, at the current moment, there are no available dwellings.
Nor does it mean, that they can’t put on a show in the band shell in the interim.
Folks, allow me to introduce eight future additions to the neighborhood : Elton John, Phil Collins, George Strait, Mick Fleetwood, John McVie, Christie McVie, Lindsey Buckingham, and Stevie Nicks.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I. Comparing Parks
—A. Our Current Park
—B. My Old Park ( Ehlert Park )
II. Our New Park
—A. What I Do NOT Want ( Ravinia Style—Yuck!)
——1. A PROFILE View of the Three Main Layout Designs
———[a] Typical Layout of Outdoor Music Venues
———[b] Ravinia’s Layout—PROFILE View
———[c]. Ravinia’s Layout—GROUND View (Adding Insult To Injury)
—B. What I DO Want : If You Build It, They Will Come
——1. The Four Main Structures/Areas
———[a] The Band Shell
———[b] The Seating / Picnic Area
———[c] Concession Stands / Public Bathrooms Area
———[d] The Museum
——2. Naming the Park, The Band Shell, And Museum
III. Our New Neighborhood
I. Comparing Parks
A. Our Current Park
My wife, Traci, and I live by a decent-sized park : approximately two blocks long by one block wide.
Every day, the park gets used either by individuals walking their dogs, or kids playing on the swings, slides, and monkey bars, or even groups playing baseball on one of the two diamonds, or having a party in one of the two pavilions.
Occasionally, once to twice a year, the village even hosts a “Movie in the Park” night, where they erect a projection screen, and people picnic on the lawn watching whatever movie is being featured that night.
Outside of those activities, the park has never actually been used for any really huge events, such as concerts.
Although it’s rarely packed, it’s also rarely empty—there’s always someone, somewhere .
B. My Old Park ( Ehlert Park )
In contrast, would be another park that I used to hang out in constantly, when I was kid.
It’s called “Ehlert Park” and it’s located in a small suburb on the near west side of Chicago : Brookfield, Illinois.
Unlike our park, Ehlert Park (which is only slightly larger than ours) has been used for hosting events that would draw much larger crowds than our park would ever likely see. I saw various 70’s bands such as “The Guess Who”, “Rare Earth” and “Bad Company” play there.
Ehlert was also the scene of countless carnivals over the years, as well.
I took one of my first official dates there when I was 11 or 12 years old, as we went on all the rides, and played all the gallery games, and what-not.
As a kid musician, my imagination used to have me daydreaming that I’d one day make it big, and perform a concert in Ehlert Park (and the crowd goes wild).
Well, those days are long gone—almost 50 years ago, now!
But, if I could , would I still play a show at Ehlert Park?
Absolutely!
But, the park by my current house is much closer, although not quite as large. But that’s fine with me, since I wouldn’t need that much space.
In an ideal scenario, all the houses surrounding the park—except ours, of course—would be unoccupied, and I would be free to invite all my favorite musicians to live in these houses and create a MUSICAL COMMUNITY.
That brings up two questions :
[1] How would I set up the park to create a “Musical Theme” to the area?; and
[2] Who would I invite to live in this musical community?
II. Our New Park
Well, to begin with, I’m going to have to admit that, when it comes to architectural talents, I’m not exactly “Frank Lloyd Wright”, but the ideas, as depicted in the drawings below, should still suffice in giving one a rough idea of what my ultimate goals are.
A. What I Do NOT Want ( Ravinia Style—Yuck!)
The one thing I do NOT want to do, is create another monstrosity like Ravinia Music Theater. It’s been at least 20 years since I was last there, so they might have fixed the problem by now, but, my guess is, they haven’t, because they don’t see it as a problem; in fact, they deliberately erected it with the problem as part of the design—they must’ve thought it gave the place it’s….”charm”, or whatever euphemism they use to describe the place.
Specifically, the glaring problem is that people on the lawn, are NOT ALLOWED to see the show—literally, NOT allowed!
How so?
Almost every outdoor music venue (that’s on an incline) such as the old World Music Theater (or whatever corporation it’s named after today) and, say, the former Poplar Creek, people on the lawn CAN see the stage ( albeit from a distance; and with binoculars, one can see up close, but at least the stage is visible, nonetheless) .
But Ravinia?
They punish their customers on the lawn, by DELIBERATELY PREVENTING them from visually seeing the concert (i.e., the stage AND the musicians playing on that stage).
RAVINIA TO LAWN CUSTOMERS : “Who do you think you are to expect to see the stage if you didn’t buy a pavilion seat? You bought a lawn ticket, so you will be punished by having your view blocked.”
“Wow! And you expect us to give you more business after this crap?” I wanted to say to the people who owned Ravinia in a letter of disgust.
I don’t know if the group of people I warned about wasting their money on Ravinia tickets, told their friends and spread the word, but I made sure that I never gave Ravinia a good review, and as long as the lawn’s view is blocked, I never will.
Nor am I required to.
“What a piece of shit those brains are that thought that nightmare up!” I would angrily gripe, when asked what I thought of Ravinia.
“They raised the pavilion up six feet higher than the lawn, and the wall that the chairs (under the pavilion) are mounted on are higher than the lawn people’s height. Unless the people on the lawn are 14 feet tall, their view of the stage is COMPLETELY and DELIBERATELY blocked. Wow! That’s retarded…or evil…or both.”
1. A PROFILE View of the Three Main Layout Designs
Per my depiction below, one can see ( i.e., in profile ) the arrangements of three typical venue designs :
[1] the upper left diagram is a typical layout you’d see at a venue where the stage is at the bottom of an incline like the aforementioned former World Music Theater in Tinley Park, Illinois, or the long-since-removed Poplar Creek Music Theater, formerly in Hoffman Estates, Illinois;
[2] the upper right drawing is what Ravinia provided for its second-class lawn customers; and
[3] the bottom illustration is a raised-stage design I’d likely use where the stage, seating area, and lawn are all on the same plane—raise the stage, NOT the pavilion.
[a] Typical Layout of Outdoor Music Venues—Aerial & Profile Views
In the Profile View portion of the the diagram below, it’s shown that the view of the people on the lawn is UN-obstructed, as they can see over the heads of those sitting in the pavilion; heck, they can see over their heads even if the pavilion crowd is standing on its feet, which happens all the time when they’re dancing in place.
Moreover, in the Aerial View portion of the diagram, the ability of the lawn audience to see over the heads of the pavilion audience applies throughout the entire span of the lawn.
[b]. Ravinia’s Layout—PROFILE View
In contrast, is Ravinia’s layout, where the raised pavilion’s obstruction of the lawn audience’s view is tantamount to erecting a 20-foot wall, with a banner that spans the entire distance of the pavilion that reads, “Sucka!”
I just can’t see that as “gratitude” on Ravinia’s part toward their lawn customers; it felt MORE like CONTEMPT!
It’s like going to a small breakfast diner, and sitting at the counter and ordering “just a coffee”, only to find out that the woman behind the counter that poured your cup of coffee, SPIT IN IT, to punish you for not ordering a complete breakfast.
That’s NOT how you thank your customers for patronizing your business.
It seems that Ravinia does exactly that–buy a pavilion ticket, or get insulted for just buying lawn tickets.
“I have an idea! How about NEVER buying ANY tickets for ANY show at your place? I like it. I think I’ll put that plan in place immediately.” was, and still is, my attitude toward that COMPLETELY UNGRATEFUL venue.
[c] Ravinia’s Layout—GROUND View (Adding Insult To Injury)
To make matters worse, a ground view of the layout, shows how FUTILE it was to try to “SNEAK A PEEK” down the aisles that separated the pavilion into sections.
The aisles where the pavilion people enter the pavilion ( after returning from the bathrooms or concession stands or wherever) theoretically offer the lawn people an opportunity to sneak a peek at what little tiny fragments of the stage you’d expect to be visible from the sidewalk.
But no!
The pavilion’s roof has to be held up in the air by something physical—in this case, the roof support posts, which BLOCKED easily 60 to 70 percent of the view down the entrance aisles.
That means you have ONLY a “sliver” of space ( around the support poles ) to see fragments of the stage, right?
Wrong again.
THAT is where the Andy Frain or Ravinia employees stand.
THEY BLOCK the slivers.
So, the raised platforms block 90 percent of the view; the roof’s support posts block eight more percent; and the employees block the remaining two percent.
Percentage of view blocked = 100 percent.
You see NOTHING!
So, the Happy Yellow faces are, of course, the pavilion customers who can hear AND SEE the concert.
The Frowning Red faces are the angry people who realize they can’t see the show.
The Green Smiley faces are the Andy Frain/Ravinia-employed people making sure the lawn people are NOT enjoying the show, by making sure they can’t see ANY of it!
What REALLY convinced me to NEVER frequent that place again was when I was trying to sneak those peeks at the stage by peering into the pavilion entrances, I saw on ALL of those SUPPORT POSTS, large signs that simply had “NO!” in a font size I’m going to guess at 96, maybe larger, and then, a LIST of things NOT allowed, such as smoking, drinking eating, talking, photography….”
I couldn’t even finish the list, I was so taken aback by their idea of a “good” time at Ravinia :
[A] If you buy LAWN tickets, you can NOT SEE the show; but
[B] if you buy PAVILION tickets, you can NOT ENJOY the show!
“Hmmm…I don’t think I’m gonna make this mistake again.” was what I thought the VERY MOMENT I stopped reading the laundry list of “no-no’s”, as defined by Ravinia’s management.
B. What I DO Want : If You Build It, They Will Come
1. The Four Main Structures/Areas
I would definitely want to see at least four structures erected : [a] a band shell; [b] a seating/ picnic area; [c] an area for concession stands and public bathrooms; and [d] A museum dedicated to the memories of all those music-related heroes whom I would love to honor posthumously.
[a] The Band Shell
Starting with the band shell, it would obviously have to be raised a certain amount so people farther back in the audience could see the stage—since the farther back a spectator is—on level ground—the more the stage has to be raised to be seen from that spectator’s distance.
Although it’s the music, not the band shell, that I want to see as special, I’d be willing to commission some kind of mural that reflects the pre-1980’s era to be painted on both the inner side and the outer side of the shell.
Perhaps, a tribute to the bands’ album covers on the outer side, and portraits of the musicians, themselves, on the inner side, might be appropriate—maybe, with a Salvatore Dali-style presentation to the artwork.
[b] The Seating / Picnic Area
Having spent a good chunk of space in this post haranguing the designers of the Ravinia Music Theater for their “lawn customer”-hating layout of the venue, it’s obvious that I’d definitely want to ensure that the people on the lawn can still see the stage above the heads of those sitting in the the seating area—even if they’re standing up, and dancing in place.
[c] Concession Stands / Public Bathrooms Area
The idea of any kind of outdoor event not being accompanied by the availability food and drink is not much of an event.
Thus, concession stands offering food and beer and non-alcoholic drinks would be erected for sure.
Obviously, with food and drink going “in”, there’s eventually going to be the very same items coming “out”, so plenty of bathrooms would also be provided.
[d] The Museum
No one lives forever, even if they’re among the greats.
When they get to the point that they can no longer provide us with entertainment, because they “have left the building” for good, the way Elvis did, the least we can do is posthumously show them our gratitude for posterity.
So, some kind of tribute in the form of a museum would appear to be one appropriate way to show our gratitude for such contributions that will never be repeated by any other musicians.
2. Naming the Park, Band Shell, And Museum
Naming these three attractions is something I have not yet came to a final decision on yet.
If they were actual entities, and I had money to offer, I’d definitely do a contest and offer a prize to the contributor of the winning names.
But both being imaginary, and myself having no spare cash to offer, I’m going to be on my own in that pursuit.
Toward that goal, I want the park, the band shell, and the museum, to all have separate names, but, also be conceptually connected in some way.
That is the challenge.
I find the very idea of putting the name “up for sale” the way many theaters and sports parks are named these days more than offensive.
“Corporate Park” : doesn’t that just make you want to shoot the CEO of the corporation that “bought” the naming rights?
The music has nothing to do with Goliacorp’s banking services or life insurance offerings.
It’s a park, with amenities, that’s built for music—not banking or insurance—and needs to be named accordingly.
For the three entities I was thinking of names along the lines of :
[a] The Jam Shell…..for the band shell
[b] The Tributorium for the museum; and
[c] Magnum Park for the park (Originally, I toyed with the idea of “Magnum Opus”, which means “Greatest Work”, which is also my all-time favorite song from Kansas, but I subsequently decided to drop the “Opus” )
III. Our New Neighborhood
With the park being completely built, in all the relevant ways, it’s now time to magically move my favorite musicians into all the vacant houses.
Who would I love to see residing in these homes?
The multiple answers to that singular question are all in the neighborhood diagram under Section II, “Our New Neighborhood”.
For the most part, 99% of the houses are labeled with a single occupant
The exception to the “single occupant” listings are those who are my next-door neighbors, and/or living on the same block.
Specifically, our next door neighbors on both sides on our house are couples (i.e., Ritchie Blackmore/Candace Night and Robert Fripp/Toyah Wilcox).
This is because they are the only ones that I was aware of whose spouses were also musicians , whether their careers were in conjunction with, or independent of, their husband’s careers.
Either way, Candace and Toyah have these personalities that are so pleasant to me, that I felt their very personas needed to have a spotlight put on them, as well.
And…next to Robert and Toyah, is another unknown couple by the name of Martin Schnella and Melanie Mau, who I’ve seen on YouTube playing some covers (i.e., Yes’ “Onward”, and Kansas’ “Miracles Out Of Nowhere”) that I would never envision anyone else ever playing. When I saw them covering those songs, I immediately rubber stamped their membership into the neighborhood.
Kansas – “Miracles Out Of Nowhere” – Acoustic Cover by Melanie Mau & Martin Schnella
Yes – “Onward” – ACOUSTIC Cover by Melanie Mau & Martin Schnella – A TRIBUTE TO CHRIS SQUIRE
I’m more than happy to include any of the other musicians’ spouses, if it appears to be the appropriate thing to do.
In any case, whether single or married, welcome to the neighborhood.
Now, who wants to perform the first show at Magnum Park?